Trying To Find My Way

I am trying to find my way. Everyday begins a new and I try to make it. I am thankful to God for so many things.
I thank him for life, I thank him for Health, I thank him for my wonderful husband. I am thankful to God for allowing me the strength to make it through each and everyday without the other half of my heart Jaylin.

Somtimes I feel like a fish in a tank wanting to get out and away, but dont know my direction. I am trying to find my way. Through this world full of pain and sorrow. I guess thats why we all hope to go to heaven. A place where there is no pain, no suffering, only joy and happiness.

Trying to find my way in a world full of women who are pregnant and will deliver healthy babies. What a wonderful gift from God and I wish every woman in the world who is expecting a baby, the joy of motherhood and a successful healthy pregnancy. In saying that, I wish the same for myself. Trying to find my way through the pain I feel when seeing a pregnant woman and wishing it were me. Why does a pregnant belly have to feel like a sharp pain in my stomach when I see it.

In trying to find my way, I am also trying to figure out which way is my way. Right now I am trying not to cry, trying not to be angry, trying not to breakdwon, trying not to want to wake up tomorrow and face another day without her.
I am trying to find my way. Oh I am trying to find my back to where she and I can be together again.