Friday, February 8, 2008


Why do I continue to feel so left out. It seems like everyone around me is pregnant and experiencing the joy of carrying another child. I just want to be part of the group. I found an amazing group of women whom I share the same pain.

Most of them are pregnant again and the sun is beginning to shine again. I just want the storm to be over for me as well. I remain in faith and hope that my time is approaching soon and I continue to believe that GOD does indeed have a plan for me.

10 months ago tomorrow, my beautiful little girl passed away. Oh how the time flies by. It seems like she almost never even existed. I mean I know she was hear, but all kind of feels like a dream. Jaylin continues to be the last thought of my day before I go to sleep.

No matter how tired I am, when I lay down at night, I think of her. I miss her oh so much. The joy mothers must feel to give birth to a child they see and comfort everyday. I feel that same joy to my child, except she is not here. I know GOD has her in his arms and is keeping her safe. I just wish I could hold her near me as well. I feel her though. When my heart gets heavy and the pain is just too much to bear, I feel her. I know she is watching me and she is softly saying to me "Mommy I am here"

I can say that I feel that this year everything will fall into place. I know things are going to be better for me.

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