jaylinmylove: I Remember

Friday, April 6, 2012

I Remember

I Remember

It was 5 years ago. This same day Friday, April 6th 2007. This would be the last day that I would carry you. Neither of us knowing what the next couple of hours would bring. The last day that our hearts beat as one and the last day that I would feel you kick or move inside me. I think back to this day and hold on to that memory that has kept me through these years and knowing that you were destined to only live within my body, heart and soul and not to live with me here on earth. For there were greater plans for you, somebody so perfect and beautiful that could only be called an angel, my angel. Today I celebrate this day, the last day I carried you with me, connected to me which right now you stil remain through LOVE!

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A Journey of Infertility, Pregnancy and Loss

September 16, 2008: Got the call that changed my life forecver. Your Pregnant!
March 21, 2008: I refuse to waste money on the OPK which most likely will not work. Will just track my cycle for this month and hope for the best....Boy if it wasn't for bad luck, I would have no luck at all!!!!!!!!
March 9, 2008: Discovered a 40mm Cyst on my left Ovary, which means I am unable to do IUI this month....The nurse reassures me that I cannot take any medication because of the cyst, but I can use OPK with timed intercourse, but I may not ovulate due to the PCOS...WTF!!!!!!!
March 9, 2008: Drive 1hour and a half to get to the RE office since it's Saturday and the local office is closed.
March 8, 2008: AF arrives...finally!
February 27, 2008: Bloodwork shows I ovulated, so AF should arrive within 3-14 days
Febraury 24, 2008: AF due, but decides not to show
February 11, 2008: Meeting with the RE again. No explanation for the Chemical Pregnany and no reason why my body did not respond to treatments in November. On to IUI to greater our chances.
January 22 2008: Anxiously awaiting and counting down the days til my appt in a couple weeks. Hoping that we can do another "mini stim"
January 2008: Happy New Year...Hopefully this year will finally make my dreams come true
December 5 2007: Spotting
December 4 2007: Spotting
December 3 2007: Spotting
Not ttc at the moment, but not preventing either.
November 21 2007: made appt with RE to sit down and discuss more treatnmebt optionss...Appt scheduled for Feb. 11 2008
November 20 2007: DR advised for some reason my body is not responding to treatment...Stopped treatment for this cycle
November 19 2007: Repeat ultrasound: Follicles still not ready...still at 14
November 16 2007: Repeat Ultrasound...Follicles still not ready...still at 14
November 13 2007: Cycle Day 12 Ultrasound: Follicles not ready, at 14...repeat in 2 days
November 10 2007: Follistim injection: Gonal F between 7-9 pm
November 3 2007: Cycle Day 2 ultrasound and bloodwork
RE advised we can start treatment again for next cycle
November 2 2007: Period starts and so goes my little bean.
November 1 2007: HCG level 5.4...CHEMICAL PREGNANCY
November 1 2007: DR appt to check HCG level must be above 5
October 31 2007: another BFP..Still can't believe it
October 30 2007: BFP..I'M PREGNANT...AGAIN. I HAVE BEEN BLESSED
October 21 2007: Cycle Day 21 Bloodwork: Progesterone
Ocotber 16 2007: Baby Dancing!
October 15 2007: Baby Dancing!
HCG Trigger Shot: Ovidrel between 7-9 pm
October 14 2007: Cycle Day 14 repeat ultrasound...Follicles ready to go
Ocotber 12 2007: Cycle Day 12 Ultrasound: Follicles not ready yet...Repeat in 2 days
October 9 2007: Follistim injection: Gonal F
October 3 2007: Start clomid
Ocotber 2 2007: Cycle Day 2 Ultrasound
October 1 2007: Period finally starts...Can begin treatment
September 2007: waiting for period to start again, but takes forever
August 26 2007: 1st appt with fertility specialist again
June 2007: Pick up my medical records from the hospital and it confirms what was said: Cervical Incompetence
June 2007: I call and make an appt to go back to the fertility specialist in hopes to start treatment again in trying on our own doesnt work
June 2007: We start ttc in in hopes that maybe it will happen on its own.
June 15 2007: I start counseling, in hopes of putting my life into perspective and try to learn to live the rest of my life without her
June 13 2007: I pick up Jaylin's ashes, bring them home and place them in my favorite winnie the pooh bear
May 13 2007: Mother's Day: I cry most of the day
April 17 2007: Our 3 year wedding anniversary and we barely remember it
April 11 2007 I leave the hospital empty handed and begin my journey to healing
April 9 2007 at 10:27 a.m. Jaylin takes her last breath
April 9 2007 as I start to walk to the NICU to say goodbye to my daughter, I collapse
April 9 2007 Jaylin begins to loose her fight
April 8 2007: Easter Sunday....My beautiful little girl fights for her life
April 7 2007 at 11:45 pm: Neonatologist explains that they are doing all they can for her
April 7 2007 at 11:34 pm: I see Jaylin for the first time and can't believe how beautiful she is
She weighs 1lb and 1/2 an oz. Her chances of surviving are 20%
April 7 2007 6:05 a.m. Jaylin is born by emergency c section
in Pre term labor, dilated 3.4 cm and bulging membranes
April 6 2007: Awoke to bleeding. Rush to the ER, no pain
Her name is Jaylin Renay and I can't wait to see her
March 26 2007 : 20 week ultrasound...IT'S A GIRL!!!
February 26 2007: AFP results are good news...
February 19 2008: Bloodwork: AFP
February 8 2007: Everything's going great. 14 weeks
January 2 2007: 1st Prenatal visit, 9 weeks
January 1 2007: Happy New Year...This is finally gonna be my year!
December 23 2006: Happy Birthday To Me...The best birthday ever!
December 22 2006: 2nd Baby ultrasound...Strong heartbeat..Due Date 8/7/07 Ready to tell everyone
December 12 2006: Fist ultrasound. 6 weeks. Strong heartbeat
December 8 2006: HCG level 1,268...So Happy
Deember 6 2006: HCG level 788....
December 4 2006: HCG level 481 (Doubling) Progesterone 21.9, great
December 1 2006: I'm Pregnant: HCG level is 165
December 1 2006: I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!......Finally after 4 years. I'M PREGNANT!!!!! Can't believe it
November 28-29: Constant Lower Abdominal Pain....Decide to visit the ER
November 28 2006: Cycle Day 28: Home Pregnancy Test.....Negative
November 20 2006: Cycle Day 21 Bloodwork: Progesterone
November 15 2006: Baby Dancing Tonight!
November 14 2006: Baby Dancing Tonight!
HCG Trigger Shot Tonight between 7-9 pm: Ovidrel Injection
November 13 2006: Cycle Day 14 repeat ultrasound: Follicles are ready...So Excited
Follicles not ready yet, repeat ultrasound in two days.....
November 11 2006: Cycle Day 12 Ultrasound to see if follicles are mature to do HCG Trigger Shot
November 8 2006: Cycle Day 9: Follistim Injections to help mature ovaries to produce eggs: Gonal F between 7-9 pm
November 7 2006: Finish clomid 50mg
November 2 2006: Start clomid 50mg, Follistim Injectable meds ordered
November 1 2006: Cycle Day 2 Ultrasound
October 31 2006: Period Starts...Yay, we can start treatment. So Excited
October 27 2006: Finish prometrium
October 16 2006: Start prometrium
October 14 2006: Started on Metformin to control PCOS and help with ovulation
October 13 2006: will do whats called "Mini Stimulation to produce ovulation using Follistim injections and Timed Intercourse
October 13 2006: ALL FERTILITY TEST RESULTS ARE IN...EVERYTHING LOOKS GREAT...Discuss Treatment Plan..
September 21 2006: Cycle Day 25: Enodmetirum Biopsy
September 18 2006: Cycle Day 22 bloodwork: Progesterone
September 18 2006: HSG test results are in: everything looks great: tubes, ovaries, uterus all look great...Good News!
September 8-13 2006, Cycle Days 12-17: Use OPK to check for ovulation: No ovulation
September 6 2006: HSG Procedure
August 29 2006: Cycle Day 2 Ultrasound and Bloodwork: FSH, LH, E2
August 28 2006: Period starts: Cycyle Day 1
August 21 2006: Bloodwork: Estrogen, Beta
August 19 2006: Bloodwork and Diease screenings
August 18 2006: First appointment with Fertility Specialist
January 2006- June 2006: Not trying, not thinking about it
December 23 2005: Happy Birthday To Me, decided to stop taking Ovulex....stopped ttc at this point
November 22 2005: Start2nd bottle of Ovulex
October 31 2005: Period starts
October 14 2005: started Ovulex
September 2005: Found something called OVULEX...Willing to try anything at this point
September 2005: No clomid, no trying, sick of it
August 2005: No clomid, no trying, sick of it
July 10 2005: Start clomid again
July 6 2005: Period starts again
June 7 2005: Start clomid again
June 3 2005: Period starts again
May 8 2005: Start clomid again
April 19 2005: Start prometrium
January 2005-April 2005- No Period
January 2005: Taking a break
December: Not trying and no pregnancy test
November 2004: No more Pregnancy Test!
October 14 2004: Negative pregnancy test
October 2004: No clomid this cycle,
September 14 2004: Negative pregnancy test
August 20 2004: Start anther round of clomid
August 13 2004: Negative Pregnancy Test
July 20 2004: Start Clomid
July 1 2004: Start Prometrium
2003: 23 years old: Diagnosed with PCOS