A NEW BEGINNING!!!

I have prolonged this post for so long, now it is finally time to bite the bullet and post it. Today WHERE DO I BEGIN? I am currently 23 weeks pregnant with my second child. It's been so long since I last posted a blog and I thought I should finally announce it to my blog readers just in case someone was interested. I discovered I was pregnant on Sept. 16, 2008 after a routine office visit on Sept. 11, 2008 for my yearly pap smear. I expressed my concerned to the dr about AF not coming since July 2, 2008 after it had been regular for so long.

I wasn't that concerned about it not coming as with my PCOS I am very irregular. I was sent to the lab for bloodwork just to run some test. I got the call a week later and immediately started shaking in disbelief. Holy Shhhhht, could this be true. I immediately called my husband from work who did not believe me. I closed my eyes and thanked God for this miracle I still don't believe. For some reason at that time, I thought "this can't be true".

Fast forward to my first prenatal visit and the calculations of my due date. April 9, 2009(what) for all of you who don't remember, April 9, 2009 is the day Jaylin passed away. That means this baby will be due on the 2 year anniversary of her death. I nearly fell off my chair with this news. This calculation was based on the date of my last menstrual period of 07/02/08 which I thought for sure were incorrect because that would put me at about 3 months.

My dr then scheduled an ultrasound for the following week. There was no way I could wait that long. This was on a Friday. That night my husband and I went to the Er. I just had to get an ultrasound stat to see where we were. Blood was taken and my hcg results were back 52, 865 WOW. I was wheeled in for an ultrasound and I was not prepared for what I saw on the screen. There he was, oh so beautiful and an actual baby. Moving and jumping around, I felt my heart completely stop. 12 weeks and 3 days exactly.

I prolonged posting this as I wanted to make it to the gestational age where Jaylin was born. 1 week later at 23 weeks I am so proud and so blessed to have made it this far and have no doubt that this baby will be born healthy and strong. I had my cervical cerclage done on Oct. 7, 2008 at 14 weeks and things have been going well. I see my regular OB who is great and a Perinatalogist every 4 weeks to check the baby's growth and my cervical length which was 4.9 cm on 11/24/08.

His name is Jordan Emory Thompson and I am so in love with him. on 11/24 he weighed 14oz and is going to be a big boy. I still can't believe that I was pregnant for 3 months and didn't even know it. I can't believe I got pregnant on my own. Me, not me I never thought this would be, but know that God works when he works. When I think about him and everything I have overcome to get to this point, I start to cry and am completely overwhelmed with joy. I see him here. I see me holding him and staring at him with amazement.

Thank God. Thank you so much for giving me the strength to get through the pain and tears that led me to this joyous moment. Thank you for another week with Jordan and for keeping him safe. Thank you most of all to Jaylin my love. I know this was all your doing along with God. You too worked it out and sent Jordan to Mommy and Daddy to heal our broken hearts. Jaylin my love, Mommy still misses you so much and can't believe I will be celebrating your birthday and remembering your passing with Jordan hear to dry my tears and remember that you are watching. My heart no longers hearts with pain, but is now separated with such joy and such peace that I finally accept and understand that this was always the plan. I will never know exactly why you came and left for such a short time, but understand that if you had not, Jordan would not be coming.

Thank you Jaylin and know that you will always be my first born, my beautiful little girl. I think of you and I smile and the lessons you taught me and continue to teach me with each day.