Wednesday, January 9, 2008

9 Months: A Time Frame of Loss!

Usually, 9 months represents the time frame of which God chose women to be pregnant and grow healthy babies. 9 months represents the time frame of carrying a child and giving birth. From the moment we find out we are pregnant we hope, wish for a safe and happy 9 months. This is a time frame that normally is filled with the expectations of knowing that we will then meet the little one whom we have been anxiously awaiting.

Today though is different. Today I woke up to 9 months. Today for me 9 months represents the time that my daughter has been gone. 9 months ago today Jaylin passed away. My beautiful little girl has been gone for the same amount of time I should have carried her. Instead I carried her for 5 1/2 months and it was too soon. I never got to carry her for 9 months, but today I remember and reflect on the 9 months since she has been in heaven.

9 Months Since you have been gone my little Angel

Forever I have been changed by your love
Forver I will know you are in Heaven and now my angel up above
Remembering that today is the day my spirit became silent and brief
Realizing that I must live with the pain, live the sorrow and acknowledge the grief

Jaylin my love, Mommy still longs to hold you near
I still cry and weep with the sadness that you cannot physically be here
Understanding that it is He, God who chose you my little angel to Fly free
But knowing that forever my beautiful little girl you are, Forever my child you will be

On this day, I remember the memories we shared, and things I always will
I will always hold you near to my heart, along with the wanting time to stand still
9 month ago today, we said our goodbye and I let you go in peace
But goodbye did not mean forever because in heaven is where we will meet. (Again

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